The Taverns of Gnarth

Odd Houserule: XP is awarded only when the Party enters a tavern and orders a drink. I have no idea who among our group first came up with this, or why, but we've been doing it for many years.

In order to identify their establishments to a largely illiterate populace, the taverns of Gnarth typically display a colorfully painted image or distinctive item above or near the entrance.

1. Barking Chicken there's a chain of these. no one knows what it means
2. Horny Toad when you aren't picky, you just wanna get laid
3. Iron Spike great place to advertise for/hire henchlings
4. Funky Monkey chimps entertain the clientele for tips
5. Grinning Golem those causing a ruckus will most definitely be bounced
6. Plunging Piercer natural cavern, 100' below street lvl
7. Goblin's Gizzard drinks are OK, but don't order food
8. Dragon's Flagon 1CP drafts during full moon
9. Roast Beast locals recommend the mystery meat, but it's all about the gravy
10. Random Encounter pick-up bar
11. Purring Puss "exotic" live act is a cat doing tricks onstage
12. Cloven Hoof there's something in the basement
13. Old Wheel built around a massive metal cog sunken in the earth
14. Clanking Tankard dbl freebie for the Party; someone buys drinks and supplies info
15. Silver Shortsword lycanthropes!
16. Albino Rhino it's head is mounted above the bar, speaks in riddles
17. Double Zero bartender is Psionic, reads minds, etc.
18. Golden Grail fops and dandies
19. Half Pint wee folk; Halfings, 1/4lings, fingerlings
20. Busted Nut drifters, ne'er-do-wells
21. Shitty Griffon panders to the very wealthy, who refer to it as "The Griffon"
22. Smoking Bowl damn hippies, all-porridge menu
23. Arguing Ettin Giant-class bartender dispenses two forms of conflicting advice
24. Lucky Charm dude, that bartender's a leprechaun
25. Salted Slug scary restrooms, smelly buggers
26. Bob's Dungeon he's retired, now, but has plenty of tales of his adventuring days
27. Eunuch's Balls chance reunion with old NPC friend
28. Bottomless Pit it's where the customers go, 'cause sometimes ya just gotta go
29. Leo's Tiny Hut bigger on the inside
30. Tater Shack best fried taters & cheese in the park
31. Troll Hole ya gotta pay the Troll toll
32. Great Helm lot's o Fighters
33. Randy Andy's 10' Pole strip joint/titty bar
34. Blinking Dog blind proprietor's dog makes change
35. Blue Moon on tap, and that one guy looks familiar
36. Alchemy Jug extensive variety, pricey
37. Glassy Gnoll no one's sure what they saw
38. Chainsmoking Dwarf hazy cigar bar, must be accompanied by Dwarf
39. Headsman's Axe gets raided by The Man the one night you decide to stop in
40. Seventh Heaven champagne suite available
41. Friend o' the Devil rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
42. Doppleganger Hangar meet someone you share many characteristics with
43. Rot Grub Pub cheap eats, good pie
44. Treant & Termite gourmet viands, weird potted plants
45. Horn o' Plenty family-style buffet, somehow significant tapestries
46. Slammin' Hammer finest Dwarven porter, my friends
47. Cleric's Codpiece hangout of students , sages, scholars
48. Flying Pig unbelievable daily happy hour specials
49. Skunked Monk loquacious sage talks forever
50. Three Dart Inn favored by the local Wizards dart league
51. Sundered Shield veterans of a thousand psychic wars
52. Fourth Wall performers, artists
53. Centaur's Stall straw everywhere, no barstools
54. Bard Rock Cafe worth the cover charge
55. Cloak & Dagger when you need some guy... to do this thing...
56. Roaring Borealis massive bar fight
57. Stumbling Satyr a case of mistaken identity leads to madcap hijinks
58. Caryatid Column entire establishment randomly teleports between two locations
59. Legion Hall ya gotta know a member
60. Vomiting Vrock notable absence of nobility and civility
61. Penitent Paladin the 'confessional' is really a glory hole booth
62. Temperance's Teat topless
63. Thirsty Thyrsus bartender has excellent connections, will hook ya up for a price
64. Bacchus Brewery tall tales and extensive tabs
65. Secret Door it's hard to leave when you can't find the door
66. Screamin' Demon 25% chance your date is a Succubus
67. Bent Bar armwrestling bartender likes to gamble
68. Ole Dirtye Bastarde bawdy playhouse
69. Kane's Roadhouse houseband plays from behind portcullis
70. Angry Ankheg they're really pushing the Ankheg theme, and it isn't working
71. Flayed Brain do not order a cocktail
72. Milking Maid massages in back, happy endings
73. Odd's Blood the wine makes you blind in one eye and adds +1 WIS for 24 hrs
    
74. Jack's Potion Flask if anyone asks, you don't know Jack
75. Crock o' Doom crazed drunkard spouts of ill omens and dire prophecy
76. Crummy Beard only the bearded may enter. false beards, breadsticks on request
77. Unseen Servant impeccable invisible waitstaff
78. Wanton Wench pickpocketing doxies
79. Three Toed Sloth bartender is unusually SLOW, and missing two fingers
80. Burning Bush flophouse of ill repute
81. Keoghtom's Keg proprietor sells a esoteric powder which cure hangovers
82. Ten GP Gem big with the locals
83. Dreaddy Yeti mellow and cool
84. Second Level lies below the local burial crypts
85. Gnarly Harley's biker bar favored by itinerant mercenaries
    
86. Rusty Mail off-duty City Guard
87. Beholder's Eye someone is watching you
88. Heady Horseman blow the head off a frothy one!
89. Otyugh's Mug located next to pile of refuse, smells funny
90. Crystal Pistol there is a possibility of Alien abduction from the restrooms
91. Pirate's Parrot obnoxious speaking bird spouts insults, nonsense, clues
92. Pan's Pipe flute band will stop if paid in cash or drinks
93. Flaming Moe's also a pick-up bar
94. Freaky Tiki firedancers
    
95. Last Gasp patronized largely by the mummification/internment industry
96. High Five bartender incessantly requests he be "fived" for this or that
97. Treasure Chest Oktoberfest meets Hooters
98. Wishing Well there is one in the center...
99. Blotto Grotto all-night rave bar
100. DM's Choice

Frazetta was the Master

Archway of Alteration

Passing through this portal causes an alteration in all Magic Items; each changes in Function, but possibly not form.  Any Potions carried are instantly tramsformed into different, random Potions, writing on Scrolls is replaced by different Spells, etc.  If there's a Magic Item Table for it, use it.  As for Misc Items, replace with completely different random Misc Items.  Let the dice fall where they may.

Shrewd Players with unused magic may attempt to use this for an opportunity to gamble on an "upgrade" of their current lot... sure, why not?  But, the Archway only works once/PC, and any previously transformed items will not change again.  Perhaps a Save applies, perhaps each Item  must Save, maybe a successful Save allows the Player to choose a favorite Item to be spared...

Let the Players Divide their XP like their GP?

Wanted the PCs in my campaign to gain XP lvls a bit quicker; we don't play often enough to advance much, so I changed XP req. for level advancement from Ad&D1st to Labyrinth Lord.  I've retained AD&D's Monster XP values, and treasure is worth 1XP/GP, so we're moving quicker now.

Still, I just don't like the idea of getting XP simply for acquiring a magic item, I suppose for "aesthetic reasons"... isn't the Item itself enough of a reward?  Suppose that's entirely subjective, but it's my campaign, and I like it my way!

Considering requiring the Party to "spend" their GP to get the XP.  During summarized periods between adventures, it will be assumed to have been spent on research, weapon instruction, etc.  This will allow the Players the option to spend some, or all, of their share on goods &/or level advancement, which I thought would be fun for them, and would also allow for the fun of getting big money every once in a while, but would likely prevent them from becoming walking cash machines...

Also considering the idea of turning the Total XP gained for adventure over to the players; rather than dividing it equally among the PC's, I'll just say, "The party  has a total of 15,000 XP and 2,500 GP - How do you want to split it?"  Will they decide to allow the Cleric a little extra XP so he can get that better Cure Spell, or perhaps the Wizard, needing more XP to advance, will get a larger share...?  Personally, I'd look to see if everyone could level-up, and split any XP leftovers equally, or perhaps assign leftovers according to need, or maybe as "bonuses" for one thing or another (see also here). 
Interesting experiment?  I'll let ya know what happens.

Advanced Medicine/Drugs, Simple Table

DRUGS (d24)  Delivery (d10): 1-4 Hyposerum, 5-7 Pill or Capsule, 8/9 Aerosol Spray, 10 Compressed Gas.  Duration and degree of effectiveness variable, determine on fly,'cause you never really know, do you?  Designed for Humanoids; effect on others diminished or otherwise different

1. Antitox: negates toxins         13. Truth: unable to lie       

2. Slowdose: as Slow Spell      14. Hercurin: +STR                

3. CON-Boost: +CON               15. Nomutal: immune Mutation

4. Megalert: +Initiative              16. Antirad: 1/2 Rad damage     
5.Innoculate: immune Disease  17. K-O: renders Unconscious    

6. Stasis: Metabolic Inhibitor     18. Paralysis: yep, paralysis

7. Medic: Heals damage           19. Mutation: virus, specific      

8. Recreational: hmmmm          20. Hypergen: regenerate            

9. Nopaine: adds HP                 21. Stimdose: as Haste

10. Psi-Boost: +WIS                  22. Rage: induces Berserk        

11. Naptine: Sleep                     23. Biofilter: removes Disease      

12. Realign: restores DNA         24. New Idea

Amulet of Near Perfect Denial

A natural TH of 20 in my game during melee causes automatic maximum damage possible, no rolling required, and many games have similar "Natural 20" houserules.  The Amulet denies any attack rolls of 20 made against the wearer, these are rerolled once each and the second result applies, no special results allowed.  In addition, it is rumored to allow the bearer a Save of base 20 vs such magics as do not normally allow a Save. (result of Save is up to DM)

Monster Monday 2

ASHANE                     

Undead, always robed and hooded humanoids, faces obscured by Darkness and bearing a Rod topped with a crystal sphere containing a single Eye.  Spell use as Wizard, lvl 12 (Grand Ashane lvl 15).  Body is immune to non-magical damage, magic weapons do a Maximum of 6 HP/hit, although spells cause normal damage.  Mind resides in the Ashane’s staff, and it’s Spells are cast from this staff, Spells not cast upon the staff do not affect it directly, anyone touching the staff of an Ashane currently without a host body must Save or be Possessed, if this Save succeeds, the bearer of the staff can thereafter cast each the Spells currently memorized by the Ashane, but each time a Spell is cast, there is a % chance (Spell lvl x 10%) that the caster will be automatically Possessed (Make ‘em think they have some kind of “Archmagi” staff!)  Any Possessed will go into a coma until midnight the following night, when he reanimates as an Ashane, each following day the victim will be Drained of 1XP lvl, at 0 this can no longer be undone by any means.  Always encountered alone, although a Grand Ashane will always be accompanied by 1 or 2 Ashane apprentices.  Rarely ally with, employ, or otherwise interact with any others, are suspected worshipers of Azathoth.

(AC 4; HD 8-12, AT by Spell, or by Staff, +4, twice/rnd, MV 12")

Monster Monday ...a day late

ASTRAL ZOMBIE 
Undead resulting spontaneously from a fatal spaceship re-entry, or purposely created by Evil Wizards, faintly green-glowing.  Attack by Cold-Flaming Hands doing automatic 10 HP/rnd, which can be split among two opponents, ea doing 5 HP (no saves), or by Wail of the Void, 3x/day, once per 3 rnds, causes Save vs Mind-Affecting Spells or the agonized wail of the Astral Zombie echoes continually in the victim's head, rendering Spellcasting and any form of Mental or Vocal communication impossible, and disorientation resulting in -2 to AC and TH until the creature is destroyed.  May possibly possess advanced tech weaponry or gadget, often clothed in tattered, ruined spacesuits &/or bubble helmets with cracked visors.  Possibility to exhibit Mutation &/or Psionic ability.

(AC 1; HD 6-8; AT/DAM Spcl; SD 1/2 damage from blunt weapons, req. +1 weapon to hit; MV 15")

Strolling Down Memory Corridor...

Some favorite D&D moments:

-Psionically Blasting an evil PC Wizard's familiar during an encounter with Mind Flayers, and affecting him with Dipsomania.  It really doesn't get any better than role-playing an alcoholic Quasit!

-Hearing the dying cry of  Alremas the Evil Monk, "See you in Hell!" after severing both his karate-chopping arms with a Vorpal Sword.  Even better?  Rounding a corner in the Iron City of Dis in Hell, years and XP levels later, to be confronted by an oddly familiar-looking guy in an armless kimono, who pointed a scraggly toe at my Dwarf and said, "YOU!!!"  Our epic second combat ended with my character staggering away from his inert body with two HP... but then the sonovabitch jumped up from Feigning Death and killed me with a spinning roundhouse kick in the back!

-In one of my earlier DMing attempts, the Party fled from a riverside encounter with angry tribesmen, rafted downriver, then asked if they were being followed.  "No, they don't have missile weapons,  nor apparently a boat or raft."  "What are they doing?"  "Jumping up and down on the dock, and yelling in frustration!"  "Really?... I Fireball them."  Killed them all, and taught me to be more mindful of distance and range!

-Rexx the Cleric was handed from player to player as members left/joined our group, and saved the Party countless times... until we foolishly decided to climb a glacier en masse, without any scouting.  We reached a huge cavern entrance, and just stood there, admiring the view, I guess, until the entire party made it up to the ledge.  Then the lurking White Dragon surprised us all with an icy blast, killing Rexx and half the party before anyone even got to roll initiative!

-When it was my turn to unleash a White Dragon on the party, I did so as they were sailing across open water.  I don't know what would have happened if the Party had fled below deck, but the Dragon made a pass, saw lots of foolish humans milling about on a tiny deck, each loaded with shiny stuff, and decided to attack.  He made three more passes, unleashing his BW each time, while the PCs remained huddled together, trying in vain to successfully spellcast, and firing largely ineffective missile attacks, until the entire craft was encased in ice, which the Dragon (presumably) landed on afterward, and leisurely began picking apart for tasty moresels and treasure!

-Getting angry with the party for not paying attention, and deciding to let their inattentiveness and "fooling around" take its toll...  An unlocked dungeon door opened onto complete darkness, a "void dimension" in which time was suspended.  Perhaps I hadn't been challenging them, I can't recall, but when asked what was beyond the door, I said, "Apparently nothing; its completely dark," the ENTIRE PARTY decided to enter the room(?) anyway!  "OK, everyone is trapped in a dimensional void where time is at a standstill."  Silence, as the reality set in... "Everybody roll up new characters, we'll start again at the surface entrance, and maybe the new party will discover your old characters as they explore."  ...Eventually, they did just that, but for months afterward, any empty room described as containing "Nothing" was met with cautious inquiries of, "Nothing, or Nothingness?"

-After defeating a Remorhaz near the entrance to the Glacial Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl, discovering a Ring of Wishes, and after much deliberation beyond earshot of the DM, declaring, "I Wish for all magical items within a 100 mile radius to be arranged neatly on the floor of this ice cavern, right now!"   The DM's absolute refusal was met with all manner of outraged argument (including, "We'll still go on with tonight's adventure - just to kill everything"), until he finally said, "No.  There isn't any good reason for me to deny this, but the answer is still no.  Because I'm the DM, that's why!"

-Inspired by The Hobbit, I placed a Magic Ring in a largely unused dungeon corridor, just simply laying there in plain sight, waiting to be picked up.  An inordinate amount of Real Time was spent trying to cope with this.  Cautious investigation revealed that it was magical, but no traps, illusions, or evil were revealed.  Theories were advanced ("It's cursed!"), arguments ensued ("Just sitting there, without any guardian?  No way!"),  and the party actually decided to WALK AWAY without picking it up!  Someone eventually went back and scooped it up, and when I was later asked to please just explain this encounter, even if the answer couldn't be considered "character knowledge", no one would believe me when I said, "I dunno... maybe some other adventurer just dropped it there by accident!"  "Bullshit!  What's REALLY going on?"

Screwing with the Players

Just some misc ideas from the past few sessions...

-a pit with a metal ladder attached to the side.  At the bottom, a Secret Door was detected, but no one could figure out how to open it, even though the entire party eventually descended and examined the circular walls and the entire floor surface.  As every character repeated the same actions as the last, I repeatedly said, "There appears to be nothing in this pit except the faint outline of a Secret Door, and of course the ladder."  ...The mechanism for opening the door was located on the underside of the lowest ladder rung!

-a series of Continual Light "nodules" spaced every 10'  along the corridor walls soon became commonplace.  One of these was apparently "burned out", and did not glow, and although I mentioned it in passing each time the party trekked up and down this corridor, no one bothered to mess with it and discover that it was the mechanism for opening yet another Secret Door!

-although a character used Psychometry (Object Reading) to reveal that a peculiar metal door could only be opened by the sound of a particular tuning fork, no one realized that the protruding tongue of a serpent idol (a "forked tongue", mind you) was detachable!  (It was also trapped to deliver an electric shock)

-two magical mirrors in a certain chamber were determined to be Teleportational doorways, each connected to an identical counterpart, one in a nondescript cavern, the other in some sort of cellar or basement.  Fearing that a fleeing enemy had used one of these to escape and might return with reinforcements, an ingenious player suggested detaching one from the wall and propping it up facing the other, so that anyone attempting to enter the chamber from either the cave or the cellar area would pass through both mirrors, and find themselves emerging in the wrong area!  This one really screwed with me!

-the floor of a dungeon corridor abruptly dropped down five feet, but then continued onward from there.  After puzzling over this odd design feature, the lead character decided to hop down to the lower part of the corridor,  triggering the concealed pit trap which lay immediately after the drop-off, and his five foot drop abruptly became a 25 foot drop!

-no one could find the key to a certain locked chest, because it wasn't on the person of any of the dungeon inhabitants, nor was it in any of their private quarters.  It was hidden inside the skull of the "prisoner" who had apparently died within the (oddly) unlocked holding cell!

-knowing that an evil Wizard was likely to repeat his use a Wall of Fire spell in order to escape from the party once again, a Resist Fire was cast on the Fighters so that they could possibly pursue him when he was again encountered.  However, the Wizard instead chose to cast the Wall of Fire to split the party, casting it on the entrance to his chamber, and had his minions engage the leading Fighters while the party's Magic User fumed outside in the corridor, unwilling to risk the life of his 15 HP PC by braving the flames!

-the evil Wizard mentioned above, after barely escaping the initial encounter with the party, had become quite aware of a certain PCs "secret weapon", a cloak made from an Owlbear hide (complete with a beaked hood that made him look like Hawkman!) which allowed him to Polymorph into a death-dealing Owlbear (1/day), and so chose Charm Monster in preparation for his second encounter.  The party's table-turning Polymorph maneuver was nearly turned back upon them with what would surely have been disastrous results, but of course the lucky PC/Owlbear managed to make his Save... by one pip of the d20!