Sword/Planet Henchmen & Hangers-On (d30)

1 Grizzled Grognard                  11 Wise Neanderthal                  21 Buffy, Vampire Slayer          

2 Brock Sampson                      12 Bungling Apprentice              22 Resourceful Artful Dodger    

3 Jacked Native                         13 Distracted Geriatric               23 Cloaked Hive Midgets (7)     

4 Bastard Noble                         14 Loquacious Pet Rock            24 Tiny Flying Saucer/Crew

5 Kato the Monk                        15 Kenny the Doomed               25 Connected Carny Urchin

6 Amish Ezekiel                         16  Goth Spider Witch             26 Good Align Doppelganger

7 Tin Automaton                        17 Igor the Hunchback               27 Band Groupie/Torch Girl

8 Big Loyal Dog                        18 Overly Eager Intern               28 Conjoined Mutant F/Mage

9 Me, Jack Burton                     19 Corporal R. Crawford            29 ‘Sunflower’, Hippie Druid

10 Robby the Robot                  20 Robotic Bending Unit             30 Mobile Medical Hologram

 

 Unrelated Link  https://imgur.com/t/dog

Dr. FlimFlam's Miracle Cream

From The Infosphere:

Dr. FlimFlam's Miracle Cream was obtained by Dr. Zoidberg on an interstellar trip from a sleazy travelling salesman who sold him one tube of the mysterious substance for no less than sixty dollars. The lobster doctor gave it to Fry and Leela as a cure for their sore limbs after assembling a super collider, and both of them found out that the substance caused superpowers in humans as a side-effect.

Common powers found in humans after the use of the cream are:

1.  Super strength

2.  Lickity speed

3.  Invulnerability

4.  Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures

Roll a d4 to see which power you get, it's more fun that way.  Duration as per DM, 1d4+2 applicatons/tube.

Bonus Alienese Translation: "Keep out of reach of children under the age of five hundred. For best results, sacrifice a small mammal xanroc, the apply evenly to interior of eyeball. Would you like to help Dr. Flimflam products? Contact a representative at a covered wagon near you."