Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Dr. FlimFlam's Miracle Cream




Dr. FlimFlam's Miracle Cream was obtained by Dr. Zoidberg on an interstellar trip from a sleazy travelling salesman who sold him one tube of the mysterious substance for no less than sixty dollars. The lobster doctor gave it to Fry and Leela as a cure for their sore limbs after assembling a super collider, and both of them found out that the substance caused superpowers in humans as a side-effect.

Common powers found in humans after the use of the cream are:
1.  Super strength
2.  Lickity speed
3Invulnerability
4Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures

Roll a d4 to see which power you get, it's more fun that way.  Duration as per DM, 1d4+2 applicatons/tube.

Bonus Alienese Translation: "Keep out of reach of children under the age of five hundred. For best results, sacrifice a small mammal xanroc, the apply evenly to interior of eyeball. Would you like to help Dr. Flimflam products? Contact a representative at a covered wagon near you."

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Make a Loot Table based on stuff in your Own Home



50 Mundane and Minor Magical* Loot, based on weird stuff in my bedroom

1. Hardwood drum with bronze filigree and dino skin
2. Apeman of brass, contemplating a Zeta Reticulan skull
3. Phosphorescent Phostwood bansai in primitive clay pot
4. Mummified claw wrapped in gold wire w/feathers
5. Polychromatic beetle in crystal sphere
6. Mug of crystal, heats/cools any beverage*
7. Farlite crystal*
8. Beaker of Freshness keeps any liquid in Stasis*
9. Steel dodecahedron
10. Chalice of crimson jade, carved with serpents
11. Small coffer of stone holds beating heart*
12. Canopic jar with Cursed Seal*; roll again for contents...
13. Candle of Warding, burns 24hrs*
14. Telescoping 6’ metal pole, six 1ft sections
15. Iron smithing tongs, never get hot*
16. Ring of brass keys, skull shaped
17. Spring steel leg clamp game trap
18. Maracas made of iridescent insect carapaces
19. Mini steel and brass campfire coffee pot
20. Gnarly blown glass nug jar with 1d% black pills, ea restores 1HP*
21. Juju stick adorned with garnets, gold tacks, tiny bones
22. Box of gnargosaurs, carved from jasper
23. Stein of carven stone with vines of gold, emeralds, and etched pewter lid
24. Tiny Gnargoyle buddy*
25. Brass pipe in shape of lizard smoking a brass pipe
26. Bag of Runestones
27. Porcelain box of ruined and broken jewelry
28. Yellowed tusk with scrimshaw of ancient battle, tipped with platinum
29. ‘Ergot’s Alchempendium’
30. Blackwood box with gold clasps, carved with skulls, eyes are amber, empty
31. Five foot staff topped with bronze skull, emits Light from eye sockets*
32. Gnarly twisted staff will root and grow into a tree, gaining 1’/rnd, max 30’ *
33. Leather bandolier filled with darts, 3d4 ‘hypo tips’
34. Belt pouch with six padded compartments, incl. six color-coded vials
35. Skull with runes and removable top contains carved bone dice
36. Black pillar candle burns like torch for 72 hrs*
37. Corroded pail; steel hammer, metal saw, pliers, prybar
38. Ivory box of fine pens and inks, and cheap wooden box of rainbow chalks
39. Mechanical ‘venus flytrap’, catches & grinds bugs*
40. Glass jar of tarry goo with wick; creates 10 cubic ft of smoke for 1d4 rnds
41. Massive, resealable glass jug with copper handle, contains 1 gallon fine oil
42. Rainbow mini serpent with horns resides in glass bottle ‘terrarium’  *?
43. Pewter and bronze serving tray, etched scene of imperial orgy
44. Ornately beaded gourd hookah
45. Candle support of entwined snakes, carved from single trunk of tiger wood
46. Stoppered vial; gold dust, 3d30 GP
47. Mead stein carved from auroch horn
48. Copper tin contains clay jar with runic wax seal*, holds 3oz living Black Pudding
49. Everlasting ‘Ice’ Cube*
50. Golden whistle on silver chain, tiny rubies


Monday, February 2, 2015

Gnartian Wilderland Hex Exploration Enc Tbl


Simple Encounter Table for Wandering Parties in my Gnarth campaign, # Checks/day by Terrain...

WILDERLAND HEX EXPLORATION (2d4)
2  Dungeon, Lair, Ruin
3  Humanoids &/or Settlement
4  Common AD&D/Other Monster or Misc Wildlife
5  Featured Local Enc Table (1d6 or 2d4 entries)
6  Common Gnartian Monster, or ‘Game’ Animal
7  Weird Encounter, NPC, or Rare Gnartian Monster
8  Spawn of Shog-Gnargoroth, or Misc Major Random