SPELLS of the GNARKOTIC MANUSCRIPTS

CATASTROPHIC MISFORTUNE OF MALICIOUS FATE

lvl 5, cast time 5s, area effect 30' rad, 1creature
Whatever action the recipient/victim attempts on the following rnd will not only be unsuccessful, but will in fact fail in the most catastrophic and picturesque manner possible. Attacking swordsmen will not simply miss, but rather trip and impale themselves on their own blade, spellcasters attempting Fireball will have it explode in their hands, opponents using modern weapons will experience a jam/backfire, while advanced weaponry will "short out", draining all remaining charges, etc. If target is unfortunate enough to declare he is doing "nothing", a tiny micro-meteorite falls from the sky (or other improbable effect if underground, etc), unerringly striking for 1d4 damage per lvl/HD of the victim! Players using the spell may suggest potential effects, subject to DM veto/modification. DMs using the spell are encouraged to be real jerks about it!

IMPROVED MIRROR IMAGE

lvl 5, dur 2r/lvl, cast time 5s
Creates 1d4 Mirror Images, whose AC and total HP = those of the caster; if two images, ea has 1/2 of caster's HP, if three images, ea has 1/3, if four, each has 1/4.

I AM THE SLIME

lvl 6, cast time 6s, dur 1trn/lvl
Allows caster to dissolve into a pool of caustic, mobile goo, which can seep under doorways or through small cracks (3" MV), flow up walls and across ceilings, fill appropriately-sized containers, etc. The touch of the goo dissolves living tissue at a rate of 3 HP/rnd, and the Slime can extend one pseudopod/rnd (max 1/lvl), attacking as a monster of HD = to the lvl of the caster. Pseudopods which hit attach to the victim, and auto do damage ea rnd. The Slime takes 1/2 damage from cutting and thrusting attacks, and no damage from blunt weapon attacks, and retains the AC and HP of the caster.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEA6oRPSmUA&feature=related