Friday, November 29, 2013

Considering Backstab Damage Rule Alteration

Instead of x2, x3, x4 DAMAGE, how 'bout multiplied DAMAGE DICE; for example, instead of 1d8(x2), roll 2d8... instead of 2d4(x2), roll 4d4.  Eliminates crazy lucky high rolls, but guarantees a more effective attack on average, 'cause you know that after all those rounds spent sneaking around and creeping up, you're gonna roll a damned '1' for damage!  Think I'll let players choose which option they prefer... feeling lucky, punk?

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

(d12) Looking into the Magic Mirror


Altered Reflection Seen, Effect
1. Cleaned Up, +1 CHAR
2. Beaten with Ugly Stick, -1 CHAR
3. No Face, 24 hrs
4. Face of last opponent slain, 1d4 days
5. Big grin, 24 hr smile is disconcerting, renders immune to any other emotional state
6. Instant Facial Hair, (d4): handlebar 'stache, ZZ Top beard, Zappa soul patch, evil twin black goatee, immediately re-grows if cut, until Dispelled
7. Something creeping up behind, this thing does just that w/in 1d6 days, automatic Surprise
8. Partially Invisible, appear as (d4): skinless, circulatory/nervous system only, skeleton, eyeless face (side effect: see Invisible), 1d4 days
9. Blurry, Displaced 24 hrs
10. Medusa Morph, Save or be stone unto you, if Save, gain ability to assume Medusa face for 1 round, once only
11. No Reflection, never casts one again, Immune to Scrying
12. Near-Infinite Reflections, view self looking into a mirror, viewing self looking into a mirror, viewing self looking into a mirror... transfixed until forcibly removed, whereupon 1d4 Mirror Images emerge, following until struck as per Spell

Friday, November 22, 2013

This is The Pact


To Defend, this is The Pact
But when Life is scorned, and damage done
To Avenge
This is The Pact


Thinking this is about the most elegant way to phrase the credo for a Paladin-type, from one of my least favorite songs by one of my most favorite bands.  Check out the tune that wasn't featured in the classic animated film, Heavy Metal (1981), dubbed over the appropriate scenes by another fan; a pretty good job of editing!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

'Dorkness Rising' Full Movie on You Tube


If you haven't already seen it, you def. should!  Just discovered the full movie is on YouTube.
Be sure to check out other projects from Dead Gentlemen and Epic Level Productions!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Gonzo Fighter-Type Names, MST3K Style


Copied/Pasted this list of Uber-Macho Fighter names, suitable(?) for NPCs, Henchmen, even your next PC, and made a Random Table of it.  View the MST3K clip here.
(d50)
  1. Slab Bulkhead *       
  2. Fridge Largemeat * 
  3. Punt Speedchunk * 
  4. Butch Deadlift * 
  5. Bold Bigflank * 
  6. Splint Chesthair * 
  7. Flint Ironstag * 
  8. Bolt Vanderhuge * 
  9. Thick McRunfast * 
  10. Blast Hardcheese * 
  11. Buff Drinklots * 
  12. Crunch Slamchest * 
  13. Fist Rockbone * 
  14. Stump Beefknob *
  15. Smash Lampjaw * 
  16. Punch Rockgroin * 
  17. Buck Plankchest *
  18. Stump Junkman * 
  19. Dirk Hardpec * 
  20. Rip Steakface * 
  21. Slate Slabrock * 
  22. Crud Bonemeal * 
  23. Brick Hardmeat * 
  24. Rip Slagcheek * 
  25. Punch Sideiron * 
  26. Gristle McThornbody *
  27. Slate Fistcrunch * 
  28. Buff Hardback * 
  29. Bob Johnson (oh, wait…) * 
  30. Blast Thickneck * 
  31. Crunch Buttsteak * 
  32. Slab Squatthrust * 
  33. Lump Beefbroth * 
  34. Touch Rustrod * 
  35. Beef Blastbody * 
  36. Big McLargehuge * 
  37. Smoke Manmuscle * 
  38. Beat Punchmeat * 
  39. Hack Blowfist * 
  40. Roll Fizzlebeef *
  41. Ragnar Rokbottom 
  42. Leif Longbottom
  43. Leif Garrotte
  44. Danger D. Danger
  45. Tank Blackmoor
  46. Stiff Polearm
  47. Flabby Thunderbuns
  48. Thorvald McMaynerberry
  49. Bjorn Redeye
  50. Goliath Oakennutts
For easier Random Rolling, I rounded out the list to an even 50 entries,  adding #s 41-49 in an apparently Viking-influenced fit of giggling free association.  Entry #50 was the name of a favorite Character of mine, one of the last of the Clan of Chainsmoking Dwarves, sadly departed, and undoubtedly hollering his signature catchphrase, "Heapin' Gobs of it, Laddie!" on the entrail-strewn battlefields of Valhalla.  We hardly knew ye, Goliath.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Triumphant Return of Bananabis Foster

On a quest to recover missing comrades, through a series of Underdark dungeons linked by interdimensional gateways, my dreddy point man B. Foster had a string of bad times.  He triggered most of the traps, which is kind of his job, but then got rapidly aged by a disturbed Ghost, and became a frail old man.  A wish-granting chamber in one of the dungeons turned out to be powered by some Satanic agency, and a Wish to "Return him to his earlier age" succeeded all too well, reducing him to an even more frail infant!  With no other recourse (one-way Gates; no return), the Party was forced to surrender him to the care of the only 'friend' they had in the place, Flynn the Flind, leader of a pack of Underdark Gnolls, and hope for either a return at a later date, or a happy second childhood for Foster, being raised by Gnolls deep underground.  For a few sessions I played Dolph, a secondary PC belonging to another Player, eventually reaching the next Gateway, which -as these things go- happened to return the Party to the Gnoll Caves, wondrously -as these things go- twenty years further in time from their last visit (though seemingly only a few weeks later), and who should they meet but Flynn, now a bit grey in the muzzle, bearing tales of raising infant Foster as a member of the pack, until he reached manhood!  Apparently, Foster had received a dream vision of a a Cursed City, suspended somehow over a great abyss, and had been compelled to seek it out, and,  along with a small group of Gnolls, he had recently departed to do so...  Pressing on, the Party was later ambushed by a pack of Gnolls, and -as these things go- who should be leading them, but a dreadhead human with a (somewhat) familiar face, yes, Bananabis himself, bereft of his former memories (but returned to his younger statistics, and now fluent in Gnoll speech!).  Having been informed of his prior life and comrades by his Flind stepdad, recognitions were made, the attack was halted before the Party slew the remaining Gnolls, and a weird reunion was held in the bioluminescent lichen-lit transit corridors of the Underdark.  Foster demanded return of some of his former equipment in recompense for his slain Gnoll pals, and then related his tales...  Seems -as these things go- that he and his Gnolls had discovered, through raiding Drow caravans, that the Gateway the Party was seeking was located in the Cursed City which he himself was seeking, and so the Party was again in the company of their former adventuring comrade (more or less), as well his squad of Hench-Gnolls!  Together they trekked to the partially ruined Cursed City, to find the entry guarded by a band of enterprising Drow, who attempted to solicit an entry fee -and purchase the Gnolls!- but the Party was in no mood to bargain, and combat wass joined, soon ending in the slaughter and looting of the Drow, and the Adventure continues, continuity restored, more or less... as these things go.

Look out, Bananabis is back, and this time... it's Person-Gnoll!

Daddy's Home!


Not for Sale.