Wednesday, November 27, 2013

(d12) Looking into the Magic Mirror


Altered Reflection Seen, Effect
1. Cleaned Up, +1 CHAR
2. Beaten with Ugly Stick, -1 CHAR
3. No Face, 24 hrs
4. Face of last opponent slain, 1d4 days
5. Big grin, 24 hr smile is disconcerting, renders immune to any other emotional state
6. Instant Facial Hair, (d4): handlebar 'stache, ZZ Top beard, Zappa soul patch, evil twin black goatee, immediately re-grows if cut, until Dispelled
7. Something creeping up behind, this thing does just that w/in 1d6 days, automatic Surprise
8. Partially Invisible, appear as (d4): skinless, circulatory/nervous system only, skeleton, eyeless face (side effect: see Invisible), 1d4 days
9. Blurry, Displaced 24 hrs
10. Medusa Morph, Save or be stone unto you, if Save, gain ability to assume Medusa face for 1 round, once only
11. No Reflection, never casts one again, Immune to Scrying
12. Near-Infinite Reflections, view self looking into a mirror, viewing self looking into a mirror, viewing self looking into a mirror... transfixed until forcibly removed, whereupon 1d4 Mirror Images emerge, following until struck as per Spell

UNRELATED LINK of the DAY:
https://rpgcharacters.wordpress.com/

Friday, November 22, 2013

This is The Pact


To Defend, this is The Pact
But when Life is scorned, and damage done
To Avenge
This is The Pact


Thinking this is about the most elegant way to phrase the credo for a Paladin-type, from one of my least favorite songs by one of my most favorite bands.  Check out the tune that wasn't featured in the classic animated film, Heavy Metal (1981), dubbed over the appropriate scenes by another fan; a pretty good job of editing!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

'Dorkness Rising' Full Movie on You Tube


If you haven't already seen it, you def. should!  Just discovered the full movie is on YouTube.
Be sure to check out other projects from Dead Gentlemen and Epic Level Productions!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Gonzo Fighter-Type Names, MST3K Style


Copied/Pasted this list of Uber-Macho Fighter names, suitable(?) for NPCs, Henchmen, even your next PC, and made a Random Table of it.  View the MST3K clip here.
(d50)
  1. Slab Bulkhead *       
  2. Fridge Largemeat * 
  3. Punt Speedchunk * 
  4. Butch Deadlift * 
  5. Bold Bigflank * 
  6. Splint Chesthair * 
  7. Flint Ironstag * 
  8. Bolt Vanderhuge * 
  9. Thick McRunfast * 
  10. Blast Hardcheese * 
  11. Buff Drinklots * 
  12. Crunch Slamchest * 
  13. Fist Rockbone * 
  14. Stump Beefknob *
  15. Smash Lampjaw * 
  16. Punch Rockgroin * 
  17. Buck Plankchest *
  18. Stump Junkman * 
  19. Dirk Hardpec * 
  20. Rip Steakface * 
  21. Slate Slabrock * 
  22. Crud Bonemeal * 
  23. Brick Hardmeat * 
  24. Rip Slagcheek * 
  25. Punch Sideiron * 
  26. Gristle McThornbody *
  27. Slate Fistcrunch * 
  28. Buff Hardback * 
  29. Bob Johnson (oh, wait…) * 
  30. Blast Thickneck * 
  31. Crunch Buttsteak * 
  32. Slab Squatthrust * 
  33. Lump Beefbroth * 
  34. Touch Rustrod * 
  35. Beef Blastbody * 
  36. Big McLargehuge * 
  37. Smoke Manmuscle * 
  38. Beat Punchmeat * 
  39. Hack Blowfist * 
  40. Roll Fizzlebeef *
  41. Ragnar Rokbottom 
  42. Leif Longbottom
  43. Leif Garrotte
  44. Danger D. Danger
  45. Tank Blackmoor
  46. Stiff Polearm
  47. Flabby Thunderbuns
  48. Thorvald McMaynerberry
  49. Bjorn Redeye
  50. Goliath Oakennutts
For easier Random Rolling, I rounded out the list to an even 50 entries,  adding #s 41-49 in an apparently Viking-influenced fit of giggling free association.  Entry #50 was the name of a favorite Character of mine, one of the last of the Clan of Chainsmoking Dwarves, sadly departed, and undoubtedly hollering his signature catchphrase, "Heapin' Gobs of it, Laddie!" on the entrail-strewn battlefields of Valhalla.  We hardly knew ye, Goliath.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Triumphant Return of Bananabis Foster

On a quest to recover missing comrades, through a series of Underdark dungeons linked by interdimensional gateways, my dreddy point man B. Foster had a string of bad times.  He triggered most of the traps, which is kind of his job, but then got rapidly aged by a disturbed Ghost, and became a frail old man.  A wish-granting chamber in one of the dungeons turned out to be powered by some Satanic agency, and a Wish to "Return him to his earlier age" succeeded all too well, reducing him to an even more frail infant!  With no other recourse (one-way Gates; no return), the Party was forced to surrender him to the care of the only 'friend' they had in the place, Flynn the Flind, leader of a pack of Underdark Gnolls, and hope for either a return at a later date, or a happy second childhood for Foster, being raised by Gnolls deep underground.  For a few sessions I played Dolph, a secondary PC belonging to another Player, eventually reaching the next Gateway, which -as these things go- happened to return the Party to the Gnoll Caves, wondrously -as these things go- twenty years further in time from their last visit (though seemingly only a few weeks later), and who should they meet but Flynn, now a bit grey in the muzzle, bearing tales of raising infant Foster as a member of the pack, until he reached manhood!  Apparently, Foster had received a dream vision of a a Cursed City, suspended somehow over a great abyss, and had been compelled to seek it out, and,  along with a small group of Gnolls, he had recently departed to do so...  Pressing on, the Party was later ambushed by a pack of Gnolls, and -as these things go- who should be leading them, but a dreadhead human with a (somewhat) familiar face, yes, Bananabis himself, bereft of his former memories (but returned to his younger statistics, and now fluent in Gnoll speech!).  Having been informed of his prior life and comrades by his Flind stepdad, recognitions were made, the attack was halted before the Party slew the remaining Gnolls, and a weird reunion was held in the bioluminescent lichen-lit transit corridors of the Underdark.  Foster demanded return of some of his former equipment in recompense for his slain Gnoll pals, and then related his tales...  Seems -as these things go- that he and his Gnolls had discovered, through raiding Drow caravans, that the Gateway the Party was seeking was located in the Cursed City which he himself was seeking, and so the Party was again in the company of their former adventuring comrade (more or less), as well his squad of Hench-Gnolls!  Together they trekked to the partially ruined Cursed City, to find the entry guarded by a band of enterprising Drow, who attempted to solicit an entry fee -and purchase the Gnolls!- but the Party was in no mood to bargain, and combat wass joined, soon ending in the slaughter and looting of the Drow, and the Adventure continues, continuity restored, more or less... as these things go.

Look out, Bananabis is back, and this time... it's Person-Gnoll!

Daddy's Home!


Not for Sale.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Firing Missile Weapons into Melee Combat

Houserule: 
For situations in which a monster is engaged in melee with Party Member(s)/Friendly Force(s), and an attempt is made to fire a missile weapon at the Foe, roll a d6, and if the number rolled is = or < than the number of friendly combatants, then the attack is rolled against the friend, not the Foe.

For example, if one fighter is engaged with a monster, there is a 1 in 6 chance that the chaos of combat has caused the fighter to be in the path of the missile.  If there are two party members attacking a monster, there is a 1/3 (2 in 6) chance of someone friendly being accidentally targeted. 

Assumes a max. of four PCs per roughly man-sized opponent (completely surrounded).  For larger monsters, assign a greater value to the creature; an Ogre might be worth two man-sized slots, a Giant could possibly be 3, 4, or 5 times the size of a man.  If the total # of effective combatants exceeds 6, use a d8, if 8 or more are involved, use a d10, etc. 

Further example: Four PCs surround and attack a Giant which is roughly 4x the size of a man.  Total effective combatants equals 8 (4+4).  Roll d10, results of 1-4 means a PC is accidentally targeted, while results of 5-10 allows the attack to be made on the intended target.

For exceptionally large creatures, I usually allow missile fire into melee w/o penalty.  If the fighters have opted for (or better, been maneuvered into!) a questionable full-frontal assault on a T-Rex, I assume the archer hanging back shifts fire about 20' or so, and tries to plug the beast in its massive arse.  (If I thought of it, I'd ask, "Where, exactly are you shooting it?" and if the Player said, "Ass end," I might decide that a dino might be spooked by the surprise butt-slap -Morale/Reaction Check- and instead of attacking normally, he might stampede off, forcing a Save or Initiative Check to avoid a trampling!)

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Summertime Hiatus Random Table of Inspiring (?) Images  (d30)


1
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 3
 4
 5
 6
 7
 8
 9
 10
 11
 12
 13
 14
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20
 21
 22
 23
 24
 25
 27
 28
 29
 30

an Image search of any of these should provide wallpaper size

Monday, April 8, 2013

Amazingly Illustrated Tomb and Plume Maps!



Fully illustrated, wallpaper-sized 'Tomb of Horrors' and 'White Plume Mt' maps, with real-play commentary... fantastic detail, and pretty amusing, too!  Can't wait to see 'Barrier Peaks'!  Be sure to check Jason Thompson's other stuff, linked after jump!






Friday, April 5, 2013

This Week's Game; 'Fifty-Five Froglodytes!'

The Party has learned from their Neanderthal friends that the area known as The Cauldron is a roughly circular crater, ringed with five Obelisks, each containing a "path to somewhere else"... so they decide to return to the outer rim of cliffs, and circumnavigate the entire periphery, investigating each for a Gateway out of The Cauldron and back to Gnarth proper.

Dave the Caveman is assigned as a guide, although I doubt even his fearsome strength will keep him alive long in his present company... He leads them to a "shortcut"; a metallic pad in the jungle which Teleports to a similar pad near one of the Obelisks.  The Party is reluctant to take Teleportation advice from a Neanderthal, so Dave agrees to go first, if they promise to follow.  He neglects to mention the transport is one-way only.

Parn Mantises attack, but are dispatched w/o serious incident, and entry to the Obelisk is gained via the Magetti Stone.  Inside, a familiar sight: a glossy black pyramid, allowing transport to... somewhere else... just like the one they encountered when they first arrived.  From the darkness, a shuffle of raggedy zombies, Sleestak and Neanderthal, as per my devious plan, they were deemed beneath wasting valuable Spells upon, and were engaged in melee.  Half were downed in the first round, and then the wave of Ravebones (phosphorescent Skeletons, Hasted!) descended!  Dave manged to protect Rusty the Mage (his German Shepherd, Sarge, knew better than to bite these guys), but things looked iffy, so the Zombies were abandoned in favor of bashing their newer, Skeletal foes, but that meant an extra Zed attack on everyone at the end of each round, plus two hacks/rnd from the Ravebones.  From nowhere, a Stinking Cloud Spell!  The only one to Save is Centauri the Mutant Mastermind, who engages his Alter Mass, Telekinteic Arm, and Hypersight, and takes off into the air, seeking the source of the spell.  The Undead are called off of the incapacitated party (you're welcome!), and race toward their master, an Evil High Priest, Centauri Saves vs Paralysis, and proceeds to pummel the mage to death with his mace before his servants arrive, then, faced with all of them, uses his last few rnds of Mutations for the day to bug out... and the Undead, leaderless, simply disperse into the possible infinite darkness of the Obelisk.

The Gateway proves to lead to a post-apocalyptic ruined city, The Party wisely leaves before nightfall, avoiding the CHUD I had planned...

There aren't any noteworthy encounters en route to the next Oblelisk, and Centauri investigates the pyramidal Gateway, informs The Party that it leads to a cavern beneath the earth...  but which 'earth'?!  Is it their homeworld, or a tunnel complex in some asteroid, somewhere?  ...Knowing they can enter the Gate and return, they figure, Why Not?, and investigate, the subterannean chamber is empty except for the pyramid, and worn steps lead upward... The cave ends at a cliff face, overlooking a gigantic natural vault, the floor sprouting with massive mushrooms of varying shapes, bisected by a swift stream, bridged with mortared stone.  The opposite cavern wall features carved steps leading to a pillared cavern entry.

A massive but simple swing arm/pulley series/gondola, with rotating crank, allows for The Party to be lowered to the mushroom forest, but someone must stay behind and operate it, so Centauri volunteers, then uses Alter Mass Mutation to Feather Fall down to his companions.  Among the shrooms, they are soon surrounded and attacked by the degenerate Froglodytes, crawling out from under nearly all of the giant shroom caps.  Rusty the Mage NPC saves the day by casting Stinky Cloud on one side, and Web on the other, so that the Froglodytes can only approach along the narrow strip between the two hazards, rather than completely surround The Party.

Several rnds later, all usefull Spells, and most of the Party's HP are gone, along with most offensive and defensive Mutaions for the day... In desperation, Rose sounds the Horn of the Valkyrie (only 1 charge left, now!)... a glamorous, gleaming massacre of the final Froggies. Only Rusty escapes w/o injury, having hid in his own Webs.  Fifty-five Froglodytes meet a bloody end, but everyone except the Mage is infected with Froggy!

(In a gracious mood, the Valkyrie does not depart immediately after combat, as usual, but instead flies up to the cliff balcony, lowers the gondola mechanism, hauls up the battered Party, then departs with a wink!)

10GP Gems:
- Undead Swarm + Stinking Cloud Spell (the Undead are not, of course, affected) = Near TPK!

- Stinking Cloud is also useful to avoid being surrounded, and if worse comes to worst, one can always risk the dice and try to ditch enemies by running through it

- 'Evil High Priest" (EHP) Fill a few Spell slots with Magic-User Spells; it freaks out the Players!

Froglodyte:
Batrachian, subterranean humanoids, 4' tall, may either be degenerate savages, or slightly more advanced, speaking, weapon and armor using, a la Lizardmen.  Bite may cause Froggy Mutation.  Cure Disease applied immediately negates, otherwise, only Mutation-reversing tech, or the shroom-brewed antidote of the Froglodytes will reverse, and the smarter ones will use this to advantage.
(AC 7, HD 2, D BW or bite for 1d6, Save vs Poison or gradually develop Froggy Feature(s)(d4) in 1d4 days: 1 = Warty, 2 = Bulgy eyes, 3 = Squat and hoppy, 4 = Compulsive frog tongue)
  

Friday, March 15, 2013

This Week's Game, "The Cauldron", pt 4

The continued trek through the jungle, being lost, unsure where to go, what to do... has had it's desired effect, and The Players are getting restless... however, I am, too!  We both miss operating around a clearer objective!  Figured the Random Encounters would have resulted in The Party gaining more information by now, myself...  They have not yet encountered any Neanderthal, I think I'll have to insert one at the outset of the next session, so that they can gain some allies (hopefully!) and some info from my Rumors/Clues table.  Since they seem to have no plans to go back and check on the Lost Boys of Troop 51, I'm thinking that maybe the Neanderthal have found and rescued them... maybe they have been following The Party from a distance for a while now, and are ready to reveal themselves...

I did manage to roll on one of my favorite subtables:

From the Skies; a meteorite impact or spacecraft re-entry… (d4)

1. Releases Something Weird… maybe a Garthok with a Magic nose-ring (torc)
2. Showers area with debris, contains rare ore/gems, everyone takes 0-9HP dam, finds 100+ 1d% GP worth of ‘free’ treasure
3. Spaceball of unknown metal, one meter in diam, in bottom of small crater.  How it might be opened, and what it might contain, is unknown at this time… humming of machinery can be faintly detected (come up with something for next session!)
4. Explodes in a 90-yard Fireball, 1d% yards away, damage increases toward epicenter;
0-10 yards = “Ground Zero” 12d6,
w/in 30 yards = 9d6,
w/in 50 yards = 6d6,
w/in 90 yards = 3d6,
beyond 90 yards = “Whew!”
(I don’t mind ruining a Character’s day, but this is a dickish way to kill one; rule that anyone killed by the blast is alive with 1d4HP)

...I rolled #4, the Fireball, and gleefully described the entire entry (sometimes it builds suspense when they DO KNOW all the terrible consequences facing them)... and then... rolled a 90!  Everyone made Save and took 1/2 of 3d6.

Session ended over the carcass of a Hydra, near the base of the great volcano.  I must be doing a decent job of populating my Sword and Planet campaign with the weird and unknown; The Party is comprised of both native Gnartians and the remnants of the PCs from my fantasy world of Calantos who originally found the Gateway to Gnarth, when I said, "Hydra," the Calantosi responded eagerly, "A Hydra?  Here?  Oh, we got this..."  They did!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Magic Item Re-Skins



Get out yer Treasure Tables and roll something up!
(d4)
1. Random Ring, but in form of a Potion, determ. duration (10+1d10r ?)
2. Random Potion, in form of a Scroll that affects 1d4+1 beings, &/or 10’ radius
3. Random Scroll, in form of Ring of Spell Storing (recharge?), anyone may use
4. Random R/S/W, but in form of a one-shot Scroll  (“Scroll of Wonder!”)

 UNRELATED LINK of the DAY: https://www.oglaf.com/age-confirmation/?next=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.oglaf.com%2F

Monday, March 11, 2013

This Week's Game, "The Cauldron", pt 3

Returning to The Party after an unexplained absence, with a loud "pop!", Quinn "the Medicine Man (or Woman)", Thief extraordinaire!  Rusty the FNG/NPC wants to know who this guy is and where he came from, but the others just shrug and say, "Sometimes he does that."

The Party discovers a squat but large stone structure, a single archway leading into a 30x50' chamber, 15' high, with a circular pool, 10' across, at the far end.  Tarkas Traptripper (of course) investigates the pool, and is attacked by slime tentacles the moment he turns his back.  Rose casts Purify Water, and a convulsing Slime Creature vomits forth and attempts to retreat, is cornered, and despite the ineffectiveness of Tarkas' continued edged-weapon attack, a few Magic Missiles from Rusty the FNG/NPC, and some flaming oil from Quinn, soon cause it to shrivel and dissolve.  Centauri uses his Telekinetic Arm to lower Skully the Talking Stone Skull into the pool, and a 1'diam mirrored sphere is found, and eventually retrieved.  Zy's Psychometry shows visions of an obviously shifty Wizard of sinister aspect depositing a velvet bag into a mirrored bowl, which promptly "grows" into a sphere, completely encapsulating the bag.  The Wizard cackles evilly and plops the sphere into the pool, and slimy tentacles draw it under...  Quinn taps the sphere with the pommel of his short sword, activating his 1/day Knock Spell, and the sphere shudders, then cracks open like an egg.  Rusty Identifies the contents of the velvet bag as a Necklace of Fireballs the following morning.

Pressing further into the jungle!  Centauri has taken to Altering Mass in conjunction with Telekintic Arm, to "lift" himself, like Levitation.  If his Mutations are still available at the end of ea day, he does airborne recon, and keeps the Party more-or-less on track.  For some reason, they have decided to attempt to discover how extensive the jungle is by heading steadily deeper into it in one direction (happens to be North)... at the center is a cool volcano, but they haven't reached it yet.  The next encounter in this pan-dimensional space/time nexus was with another band of Lost Boys like themselves... kinda.  A troop of six 9-12 yr old Boy Scouts from an ill-fated alternate dimension camping outing!  Moral complications ensue...!  The Party, even to me, the guy that threw them into a world which is specifically designed to engender ruthlessness, was surprisingly callous, calling for simply abandoning the boys to their fate in the dino-infested jungle!  Rose, and Rusty the NPC, convince them to trek back to the structure with the Purified Slime pool, and set the scouts up with some rations and a barricade, and dubious promises to return ASAP...

Next day, more trekkin... skirting a ravine, the Party reaches the stream at its base and is preparing to cross to the other side and resume course when a stampede, basically, of man-sized giant tarantulas jump them, and surprisingly, after dispatching massive carnivorous dinos, Paralyzing Pillars of Flesh, Primordials with rayguns, Psionic Psiclops... the nearest to TPK Gnarmageddon thus far has been this cast-off Random Encounter.  Zy's Lucky Mutation allows multiple Poison Saves, and Rose's Poison-Neutralizing Gnarn Stone allow a minor edge, but everyone rolls horribly, rnd aftr rnd, except myself!  The poison is 'all or nothin'; Save for 0 Damage, but Fail after Fail occurs...  Quinn goes full Owlbear and uses his cloak to transform into the ravaging beast, managing to crush his tarantula in a hug before biting off it's head.  Rusty gains intitiative and scrambles up a tree, desperately holding off his foe with Magic Missiles until someone can help... Gorn and Tarkas doggedly hack and slash, taking more and more damage... In desperation Centauri fires his Sonic Blaster on 'Brown Noise' setting; although it does no damage, the spider is held off for a few rnds of explosive diarrhea, which must have been quite a sight.  Gorn the Reptilian says "Damn the poison" and augments his axe with his bite attack, and he and Tarkas dispatch their attackers, freeing Rose to rush about Healing Centauri and Zy, both down from flesh-eating venom... Quinn is too wounded to engage, but does a flapping Owlbear dance to distract the tarantula menacing Rusty, perched in his tree.  A revived Zy pulls the pin on one of his Fireball Necklace Globes, a small one, and the blackened arachnid attempts to flee, and is gunned down by a volley of vengeful arrows.  Battered and incredulous at their terribly poor performance, and terribly surprising survival, they stagger into the ravine, find a narrow cave with several branching side passages, each ending in a small nest of webs.  All remaining Healing Spells are expended, and Gorn and Tarkas guard the narrow entrance as the others rest and recover.  Three more Giant Tarantulas are spotted descending the opposite cliff face some time later, and all ranged weapons are brought to bear, as no one is comfortable with their HP totals!  The spiders flee, but return at dusk, this time descending the cliff face above the cave to avoid long-range detection, but being previously wounded, and unable to bypass Tarkas and Gorn in the narrow passage, they are slain, one by one.  This time the dice rolls were not extreme on either side, and the supposedly dire Tarantulas were proven to be largely dependent on luck for success.

Skully the Talking Skull is set on a stick at the entrance, watching with Sarge the German Shepherd, as the Party rests in the spider cavern.

Monday, March 4, 2013

This Week's Game, "The Cauldron", pt 2

Party continued to stumble around aimlessly, still unsure where they are, and an encounter roll of 'Primordial w/captive NPC' was converted to 'Insert Magic User Here', allowing for the appearance of Rusty Saturn, a boyish Mage of level 4. 

Our wary adventurers wisely -perhaps- chose to watch an odd ritual of the Elder Things play out, resulting in the summons of a Byakhee, which rode off again into the sky with two of the four Things (and some loot... but they wouldn't have taken down all four; they barely managed to deal with the remaining two!).  After a tough struggle, the Party slew the Primordials and claimed their weaponry, a Sonic Blaster and an Electro-beam Rod.  The plastex cargo box discovered behind a tree contained... A Multi-Phasic Concatenation Coil, which is a piece of alien super-science technology, entirely useless to the Party.  Their unconscious captive rose from a drug stupor the following morning, told his tale of being abducted along with his mentor and other members of a merchant caravan... none of which he has seen since, and next thing you know, he's being traded along with some weird space Coil for a locked metal box. 

Embarassingly eager to hook up with the Party, Rusty's Identify and Read Languages Spells have provided much-needed info; they are trapped in a time/space nexus, an ancient construct of the Primordials, but a way out has not been hinted at.  The Sonic Blaster has four settings: Disruption (3d6 dam, no Save), Stun (1d3 r, Save negates), Deafen (24 hrs, Save vs Wands negates), 'Brown Noise' (lose 1r of action to involuntary explosive diarrhea, no Save).  Rusty was unable to determine how many 'charges' remain in this alien energy device. 

A brief discussion of returning to the Armored Vehicle previously enountered, this time with Rusty's Knock Spell... ended unresolved as the Party made camp for the night.

GAINS: Sonic Blaster, 'Pentacle Rod' (metal rod topped w/plasma globe and pentacle, discharges electric arcs and lightning bolts), and most importantly, an NPC Magic-User!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Gnartian Mutations

Random Tables posted under my Pages, in the sidebar.  Lots of familiar faves, lifted from the Usual Sources, plus a few of my own.  Mute Up!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

This Week's Game, "The Cauldron"

The Party (I think they need a Gang Name)
Rose, Human, Knight of the Mystic Order of Gnarth, the Healer
Tarkus Traptripper, Human Fighter, "the one with the AC"
Xy, Green Gnartian, Mutant Mastermind, psychic visionary
Gorn, Reptilian, Fighter, he bites
Cenaturi, Purple Gnartian, Mutant Mastermind, telekinetic bowler...
------------
Paranoid, the Party avoided all encounters while attempting to return to Ognar, thereby missing opportunities to learn about the local legends, incl the one about the mist that engulfs whole caravans, and disappears, leaving nothing behind... and during a night encampment, guess what happended?  Everyone has been capriciously and vindictively active in blaming Gorn for this blatant DM hook, as it occurred on his watch!

The Party awoke an unknown time later, scattered at the base of a glossy black 10' pyramid, itself within a metallic obelisk.  Objects, and even the intrepid Centauri, were found to pass though the sides of the pyramid, as though it were liquid, only to be instantly spat out the opposite side, unharmed.  The Party cautiously exited the obelisk, discovered it to be standing near a vertical cliff wall, at the edge of a rocky, sandy, pockmarked wasteland.  Xy used his Psychometry Mutation to attempt to discover the function/use of the Obelisk itself, and had blurred visions of Primordial Ones, long ago, coming and going, performing arcane rituals... No sooner was a nearby cave entrance spotted, than a hungry, chomping, multicolored, plumed, bipedal dinosaur emerged, immediately rushing the Party.  A few horrible wounds were inflicted, but the Gnargosaur was dispatched within a few rounds.  They entered the cave, were Surprised by the charge from the darkness of the second Gnargosaur, but this one fared even more poorly than its mate.

A draft through a narrow crack led Gorn to squeeze through into the base of a 10' diam vertical shaft.  A leather satchel was found badly concealed under some rocks.  Found to contain a small plastex box, with a Hyposyringe and several differently-marked glass ampoules, as well as a leatherbound book, and a metallic (?) white tetrahedron, 4"/side.  Still lacking a Magic User, they had no other means to identify these items.  A search of the dino lair revealed only a possibly viable Gnargosaur egg, which the Party smashed, after a pointless discussion.  Returning to the obelisk, they found no doorway, only an outline of it, but the white tetrahedron was drawn to this area, and when touched to the Obelisk, the doorway area dematerialized, allowing reentry.  The book was yet another 'hook', designed to provide some info and background re The Party's current situation... but no one has yet examined it!  Perhaps they fear it is a dangerous Spellbook, but it is a journal, describing another unfortunate soul's entrapment by the mist, and various encounters he had experienced in this weird place, and clues as to how to escape...  I'm gonna have to drop some hints, I think they're getting frustrated about wandering aimlessly in dangerous terrain, without a clue as to where they are, or how to get back!

The Party decided to skirt along the base of the cliff wall, to avoid getting lost by setting out aimlessly across the wasteland.  An encounter with a large group of Parn Mantis proved to be a major one, with Centauri momentarilly downed, and all, even Tarkus, taking major damage.  Later encounters with a Psiclops and a Landsquid were overcome, and in a reversal of former procedure, they decided to strike out aimlessly across the wasteland...

...an abandoned 20th(?) century Armored Car proved tantalizing, but the Party could not gain access to its potentially fabulous cargo*... although an Adder in the cab nearly killed Rose, the only Healer, but she happens to bear a Gnarn Stone which Negates Poison; only a few charges left! 

...a swarm of Displaced Dolm Ants heavily drains Rose's Healing and Offensive Spells, and seriously messes-up everyone, Centauri employs his Telekinetic Arm to drop a bag of bowling balls to squishy effect...

...truly bizarre quasi-living Pillar of Flesh provided extended shenanigans, as various Party members fell under its Hypno-lure and decided to hug it and get slowly absorbed, while those managing to resist either spent their time detaching their comrades and dragging them out of the effect, or launching missile weapons to dubious results.  Every few rnds, someone would be freed, someone else would succumb, and once again, whomever were left standing would alternate the drag-someone-to-safety/fire-all-missiles routine.  After using up way too much of their valuable ammo, the Pillar eventually collapsed into a pool of bubblin' goo. 

...a sealed Crypt is opened with the white tetrahedron, now understood to be a key of sorts, but a Shoggoth is revealed, and the Party barely manages to reseal the doorway before being slaughtered to a man...

...still wandering around, they decide to head for the dark cloud seen off in the distance, and after being dive-bombed by Pelgrane, eventually make their way to the base of a rocky plateau, topped by a dense, steamy jungle.  An entire day spent in this densely populated area yields, againt all odds, absolutely no encounters whatsoever.
-------------
1)  Somebody needs to check out that book they've forgotten
2)  Two Mutant Masterminds, two kick-ass Fighters, and a Mystic Knight (Gnartian 'Cleric') make a good combo... but w/o a Mage, they're doomed.  Haven't rolled any NPC encounters yet, but the next one is likely to be a lower-level Mage!
3) The Party is already completely lost, but don't know it

GAINS: Magetti Stone (4" tetrahedron), Field Journal of Alphonso Magetti (unread!), Drug Kit (contents yet to be determined), Psiclops' bag (three bowling balls, a Sleestak skull (?), various potentially edible tubers and dried giant insect legs)
KILLS: 2 Gnargosaur, 4 Parn Mantis, 2 Psiclops, 12 Dolm Ants, 1 deadly poisonous adder, 1 Landsquid, 1 Pelgrane, and a Quivering Column of Flesh
LOSSES: Several close calls, but everyone lives! 

* Gold bars, lots of 'em.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Gnartian Player Class, Mastermind



MUTANT MASTERMINDS (MM)
Start with one Random Good Mutation, plus one per CON bonus (three Mutations for 18 CON, two for 16, 17, one for 13-15).  One Mutation is gained for each lvl of experience.  To determine, the Player rolls for as many Mutations as the PC has lvls, then chooses one not already possessed from this list.  Each Mutation may be used no more than 1/day, and the total number of Mutation uses/day is equal to XP lvl + CON bonus.  Upon reaching 12th lvl, Masterminds automatically gain any one Mutation of their choosing per lvl.  Immune to Radiation Sickness, Radiation damage is halved (Save for 1/4), Immune to Mutation Defects/Drawbacks, able to communicate with sentients via Telepathy, though this is widely considered impolite.  Masterminds have an enlarged frontal cortex, usually making them recognizable as such, and has led to such appellations as Craniacs, Braniacs, and (less complimentary) Butt-Heads.  MM Attack and Save as Thieves, can use any weapon, but cannot wear metal helms or armor. 

Houserules: 
Saves vs Radiation = Paralysis/Poison, Save of 20 = gain Good Mutation, Fail of 1 = Bad Mutation
Saves vs Mutation Attacks/Effects = Spells/Magic.  CON bonus applies, or WIS bonus vs Mental Effects, domination, etc
Radiation 'Class" I -X, causing this # of d6 damage, Save for 1/2
If exposed to Radiation Class greater than the MM's level, his CON bonus is applied to his chances to gain a Good Mutation (instead of a natural 20, a MM w/an 18 CON would gain +3; so a Save vs Radiation of 17+ would grant a Good Mutation, if it doesn't kill him!)

My interpretation is a Mutation of the original stock:

Friday, January 11, 2013

Launch of Gnarth 2.0 Campaign

skirting the shores of the Great Crater Lake
The Party  (I think they need a Gang Name)
Rose, Human, Knight of the Mystic Order of Gnarth, master of longbow and 2-handed sword,
Tarkus Traptripper, Human, Fighter and door-opener of renown,
Xy, Green Gnartian, Mutant Mastermind and Magic-Sniffer,
Gorn, Reptilian, Fighter, deadly with Gnartian Quill Pistol, known to eat his kill,
and introducing,
Cenaturi, Purple Gnartian, Mutant Mastermind whose cunning will likely prove beneficial for The Party in many ways...

Finally... started playing again, DMing my Gnarth campaign.  Everyone was a bit rusty, some hadn't been to the table in almost a year.  Follies incl. The Party serendipitously 'finding' a map which revealed the one room they hadn't yet discovered in the Serpentman Caves, a hidden temple with an altar and curtained alcove.  Tarkus Traptripper once again performed his perfunctory duty, yanking aside the curtain, which triggered the Trap; a chute in the alcove swung open and dumped a startled and angry Vorpion in his lap.  Although severely mauled by the initial attack, Tarkus gave back just as well, and the creature was sound surrounded and eviscerated from all sides.  Centauri claimed the segemented, insectoid tail claw of the Vorpion... to wear as a hat.  A pretty cool magic item hidden in the altar would likely have been discovered, if The Party hadn't, for some reason, assumed that the initial examination of the altar by a single PC was sufficient...!  The Party is unwittingly still carrying the key to this stash, hidden within a looted bronze cobra statuette.  Will they ever find it, and if they do, go all the way back?

After exiting the caves and crossing out of the Rust Desert, they encountered a band of Blue Gnartian Raiders, approx 200 yards away, as each group crested opposing rocky dunes along the shore of the Great Crater Lake... the Raiders were all armed with longbows, the party was not!  After injuring most in a segment of surprise, Initiative was rolled for the following round, the Party won... and stood there.  Some attempted to decipher what the Blue Leader was shouting to his minions from atop his rusty-armored Monoceratops, it was something along the lines of, "Keep firing, fools!"  After a few rnds of this, the Blues eventually lost a man to the one decent archer among The Party, and Blue Leader lost patience and charged.  Despite the pincushioning of nearly all the PCs, and the subsequent dino-trampling of Tarkus Traptripper, the party rather easily dispatched their mismatched foes in melee.  Even the Monoceratops, draped in his scraps of rusty armor, just rolled terribly.  Blue Leader offered to take them to the 'unguarded' bandit hideout, but Centauri the Mastermind knew from his Mutant ESP that while the treasure was real, there were two Blues on guard, or so the Leader thought; once they approached the hideout, the Surprise tables were turned, and the party was able to approach withing the range of their ranged weapons, and slaughtered the slacking guards without hassle.  A secreted, badly rusted and unlocked chest was found, containing coins and a few minor pieces of jewelry.  Xy, the other Mutant Mastermind, sniffed to Smell Magic, but the enticing scent of cinnamon was not detected, and the Party assumed the Bandit Lair for the night.

10GP Gem: a record-keeping page for Proper Nouns, three columns; People (NPCs, legendary figures, etc), Places (visited, rumored), Things (items, creatures encountered)... anything important enough to be given a proper Name.

Highlight o' the Night:  Centauri using his Alter Mass and Telekinetic Arm Mutations in tandem, to make himself weightless, and then carry himself across a field of battle.  My atrophied DM mind was blown.

Monday, December 24, 2012


Looks like I'll be playing again in 2013...
Have some fun ideas for the new group!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Real World

Don't seem to have much time for D&D lately, trying to focus on issues in my primary life, but I'm sure there will be more as the days grow colder and I am forced inside, hope to be back soon!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mongrel & The Wrath of the Ape King


Old School rotoscope style animation of a murder hobo with a 70's porn mustache raiding the lair of the Ape King, punching an albino lion into submission before dispatching it by throwing a sword through it's skull... that kinda thing.  Here it is!

"APE KING!"

Sunday, May 6, 2012

How about Ants that Explode?


 is the process by which an animal destroys itself 
via an internal rupturing or explosion of an organ

Wikipedia:
In at least nine Southeast Asian species of the Cylindricus complex, workers feature greatly enlarged mandibular glands that run the entire length of the ant's body. They can release their contents suicidally, rupturing the ant's body and spraying toxic substance from the head, which gives these species the common name "exploding ants."  The glue bursts out and entangles and immobilizes all nearby victims.  The soldiers of the neotropical termite family Serritermitidae, have a defense strategy which involves front gland autothysis, with the body rupturing between the head and abdomen. When outside the nest they try to run away from attackers, and only use autothysis when in the nest, to block tunnels up, preventing attackers entering.

1. ANT is to GIANT ANT as EXPLODING ANT is to EVERYBODY SAVE VS PARALYSIS
2. This would be a terrible Mutation for a PC to acquire...

Friday, May 4, 2012

Besmirched with Copious Gore


DUNGEONEER'S SURVIVAL TIPS

1. DON'T PANIC.  Sooner or later, that Character is gonna die.  Keep cool.

2. CARRY A TOWEL.  You will likely be Besmirched with Copious Gore within minutes of the first Random Encounter.  Cost 1-3 CP, Encumbrance 1 GP.  Those lacking towels suffer -2 on Reaction Dice (if they have not washed-up since last combat)


Magic Item: Towel of Absorption 
     Terrycloth gimcrack that completely wipes a character clean in one rnd, leaving no trace of dreck on either the person or the towel itself.  One in Ten have the additional property of Absorbing up to 20 lvls of Magical Spells cast at the user (10+1d10); the Towel will Absorb Mental Spells if wrapped around the head, or Absorb Physical Damage Spells if tied around the neck like a cape, all other types of Spells are covered by wrapping the Towel around the waist like a kilt.  Drawback: Encounters with sentient beings will likely involve the question, "Is that a towel... that you're wearing?"

Friday, April 20, 2012

Monster Monday 4

GNARLY EYE

Does anyone need another Beholder variation? Well, here's mine:

AC 1, HD (10), HP 70, Magic Eyes, At Will: Fly, Telekinese 100lbs, Telepathic Communication

Large Central Eye: Slow Spell, all within 90-degree cone, 60' terminus, no Save

Four Eye Stalks:
1. Magic Missile(s); 1d4 Missiles ea rnd, will target Spellcasters to ruin Spells
2. Hypnosis Ray; Save vs Mental Spell or be completely dominated until the gaze of this eye is broken, Stun for 1d4 rnds thereafter, will target most powerful/effective opponent
3. Vampiric Wounding Beam; causes 3d8 damage, Save vs Spells for 1/2, and adds these to HP, targets of opportunity, 1/rnd
4. Nullification Beam; renders targeted Magical/Technological items "non-magical"/inoperable for 1d4 turns, Save vs R/S/W Negates, will target most powerful/effective item used against it, 1/rnd

Happy Holiday... the Eye is Watching You!

Friday, April 6, 2012

the Ogre Magi's Ring



Ogre Magi get all the cool magical powers:
  1. Fly (12trns)
  2. Invisibility
  3. Darkness (1"rad)
  4. Polymorph (humanoid, 4-12')
  5. Regenerate (1HP/r)
  6. Charm Person
  7. Sleep
  8. Gaseous Form
  9. Cone o' Cold (8d8)
  10. (Ogre Strength; 18/00)
What if there were a Magic Item, maybe a Ring, that would grant all the abilities & powers of an Ogre Magi? Quite a powerful item... brought to mind the 'Ring of Gaxx', with the "randomly resetting" rotating gemstone, so how about:

The Ring of the Ogre Magi is set with a white gem of nine (or ten, if you incl Ogre STR) facets, each keyed to one of the magical functions, each usable 1/day, but here's the kicker; only one function may be in effect at any time. If the gem is set to Charm Person, the Charm ends when another function is selected, and the gem is turned until a different facet faces the tiny ruby triangle set into the band... if you encounter a barred passage, do you forgo your Polymorph disguise for Ogre Strength, and try to Bend Bars, or do you switch to Gaseous Form to slip through, and save the STR for later combat?...

Somebody's PC just acquired a major arsenal of a Magic Item, so of course there's a catch, right?

Immediately upon putting it on, it permanently drains 1d4 HP, and grafts to the digit for life

Changes to the physiology occur:
-Eyes change color (the MM reads, "Their eyes are dark pupiled with a white center." Does this mean a dark iris and a white pupil? You decide. Maybe throw in Infravision as a full-time bonus)
- Sure you Regenerate, but Magical Healing no longer works on you; no Cure Spells, no Healing Potions, just natural rest and the ring, baby. You're gonna have to set aside some time for your Precious ea day! (And remember - you can Regenerate for as long as you want, but once you switch facets, no more healing for 24hrs!)

Since this gimcrack does damn near everything, no other Magic Rings for you. In fact, I'd even say that any Item under 'Misc. Magic' simply would no longer work for the ring-bearer, or perhaps only those the DM allows.

Other "side-effects" occur: Ogres tend to like/hate you, an Ogre Magi is searching for the Ring, which contains the spirit of his father, must defeat him in single combat (I don't know... somehow or other!), maybe use of the Ring gradually adds further Ogrish physical attributes...

I love the idea of this Item being found as per The Hobbit; just lying there on the ground in an untraveled area, no guards, no Big Boss Battle, not even a locked chest - just right there on the floor, in a dark corridor. And so are destinies made and fortunes assured.