Friday, August 8, 2014

Talisman of the Traptripper

Magical gimcrack with these effects, when dealing with 'Traps' only, whether Magical, or Mechanical:
- if there is a Save to determine full/half damage, it is bettered to 'half/none'
- if there is No Save to avoid &/or lessen damage/effects (effect is Automatic), a Standard Save is granted, resultant effects as per DM
- all 'Saves vs Traps' are at +2

Also, the bearer is affected with a specific delusion, and believes himself an expert at finding and disarming traps, and will insist on being the first to search for and attempt to deactivate any suspected traps, although in reality he is no better or worse at such endeavors than the average layman.  (I usually allow a 1 in 6 chance for your average adventurer to find/identify mechanical traps, and another 1 in 6 to deactivate/disarm, failure meaning the trap has been triggered.)

{for 'Tarkas Traptripper', damage dealer/taker extraordinaire, and all-around quality adventuring companion}

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Brought to you by Prescott Pharmaceuticals

From a list of Stephen Colbert's  Prescott Pharmaceuticals Side Effects
...sponsored by Baphomet

A Good List of Bad Things, as a result of... (d8)
1. Spoiled Food
2. Xeno Plague
3. Mutation
4. Evil Curse
5. Artifact Stuff
6. Tomb Glyphs
7. Bad Drugs
8. Spores, Dude

Eighty-two Fun Effects, plus some filler to round out a d%.  Game effects as per DM
1. Abdominal Migration
3. An Inability to Breathe on Weekends
4. Ankle Bearding
5. Aortal Collapse
6. Arby’s Mouth
7. Argyle Pattern Baldness
8. Armpit Homunculus
9. Autonomous Nipple Syndrome
10. Bone Sporking
11. Braintooth
12. Capillary Yogurt
13. Firebones
14. DIS (Dissolving Intestine Syndrome)
15. Dry Mouth
16. Eye Curdling
17. Eyearrhea
18. Eyesplosions
19. Facial Corkboarding
20. Fallopian Tapeworm
21. Flunamis
22. Genital Migration
23. Gopherism
24. Hair Swelling
25. Hairy Uvula
26. Honey Nut Areolas
27. Hungry Hungry Hipbones
28. Increased Appetite
29. Increased Risk of Vampire Attack
30. Ingrown Testicle
31. Involuntary Blowhole
32. Involuntary Narnia Adventures
33. Knee Transference
34. Lactose Addiction
35. Late Onset Albinoism
36. Lou Ferrignose
37. Lungfire
38. Massive Weight Gain
39. Mild Hulkism
40. Mind of Mencia
41. Minor Heart Explosions
42. Monkeylung
42. Multibrow
43. Nostril Inversion
49. Outgrown Testicle
50. Permanent Blindness
51. Phantom Hand Syndrome
52. Pituitary Ferns
53. Precocious Kidney
54. Prolonged Erections*
55. Puckerlung
56. Pulmonary Weevils
57. R.E.O. Speedlung
58. Rage
59. Rectal Frosting
60. Re-Emergence of the Umbilical Cord
61. Restless Torso Syndrome
62. Rocky Mountain Oysterism
63. Runaway Gums
64. Scrotal Bassoon
65. Scruffula
66. Severe Weight Loss
67. Siamese Nipples
68. Skeletal Xylophoning
69. Speaking In Tongues
70. Spontaneous Mertail
71. Spontaneous Pregnancy
72. Steven Tyler Lip
73. Subcutaneous Funyuns
74.Testicular Cranberrying
75. Testicular Testicularization
76. Thoracic Geysers
77. Urethral Knotting
78. Vein Seizures
79. Ventricular Funk
80. Vivid Dreams of Self-Cannibalization
81. Warlock Hump
82. X-Ray Hearing
83-93. ROLL TWICE, then Save to determine whether Player or DM gets to chose one
94-98. ROLL TWICE, sucks for you
99. CHRONIC MALADY, roll again and add effect each day, until dead
00. ROLL AGAIN, Effect is Infectious, and can be transferred to another being by contact with affected area, Save Negates

* But Not Where You’d Hope