Playing the GOOJ Card

An Item for the Player, not the Character.  The GOOJ card can be redeemed any time that a situation arises which would remove the Player from the game for an (extended) time, negating the spell, effect, or action which caused this result; for example: Paralysis, Sleep, perhaps even Web, or Time Stop.  In essence, any game result which would have the real-world effect of causing the Player to be effectively removed from game play can be negated by the GOOJ, subject to DM discretion.  The GOOJ does not usually negate damage, or any other game result which, while possibly detrimental, does not remove the Player from the game.  Perhaps even death can be cheated with this card; if a PC is at negative HP, could the Player redeem to negate this state... possibly being restored to a stable 1 HP?

Variations:
- One-time Literal Version allows automatic Bend Bars/Pick Locks success, once only
- Community Chest Version applies to any effect/situation applying simultaneously to the entire Party, as when everyone Fails Save... basically, a 'Get Out of TPK' card
- Card of Free Action, as Ring, once only
- Rookie Card, given to a newbie Player unfamiliar with the game, or House Rules, redeemable when an unfavorable situation occurs, or undesirable course of action undertaken, as a direct result of misunderstanding or ignorance of the accepted rules.

I had one which was simply a 3x5 index card with the phrase written on it, presented to the Player with a paper clip, but it might be cool to print one of these graphics and hand it out.

Atlatl, Atlatl, Atlatl

Wasn't sure this belonged here, then realized: awesome primitive weapon, 'Mad' Scientist, pretty darn funny... too cool to not post here!  Great weapon for D&D Barbarians, Post-Apocalyptic Road Warriors, & Martian Desert Tribesmen.  Besides, it's just fun to say, "Atlatl."  Check out the vid.

...ATLATL!  : )

 UNRELATED LINK of the DAY:http://deltasdnd.blogspot.com/

Wand of Wacky Missiles, plus Wand of Wonder links

A weapon/wand which shoots forth Random Spell, Missile, Ray, or Odd Thing each time it's used.  Range 100', charges 20+1d10.  No effect may be repeated until all 20 have been randomly rolled, re-roll previously rolled effects, thereafter user may choose any desired effect, but only once -no effect will occur more than twice; once randomly, and then possibly a second time by choice (although, see entry 20; this result only 'counts' as a single use, whether random, or chosen!).  Have Player fill out a list as item is used, then check off effects which have been used twice.

1. (1d4) Classic Magic Missiles
2. Super Sleep Pellet bursts into 5' diam. gas cloud, no Save, 1 turn duration
3. Fireball, 6d6
4. Lightning Bolt, 6d6
5. One +5 Magic Arrow, roll TH 
6. Sticky 'Silly String', -1 to AC, AT, Saves until scraped off, highly flammable (dbl fire damage)
7. Live Chicken, does 1 HP damage, squawks around for 1 turn, disappears in puff of smoke
8. Oily stream of multicolored, self-applying, permanent, circus clown face paint
9. Slow Ray, 2d4 round duration
10. Cream Pie, (d4): chocolate, banana, coconut, peanut butter
11. Swarm of angry Bees, does 1d4 damage/round for 2d4 rounds, Save for half ea. round
12. (1d4) Brightly colored, neurotoxic frogs, bite/splatter on impact, Save vs Paralysis for ea.
13. Random Limb Polymorphing Ray, (d4): lobster, mantis, squid, manatee, until Dispelled
14. Corrosion Ray, all metal items on person, magic items get Save vs Disintegration
15. Black sphere rolls out, rapidly increasing in size/mass to 5'diam/500lbs, roll TH, Crushes target
16. Hypodermic needle, flesh-dissolving bacteria, Save vs Poison or lose 1HP/turn until dead/cured
17. High-Pressure stream of Water, 1d4 damage, plus thrown back 20 ft.
18. High-Velocity stream of 100 Coppers, 1-50 damage, coins are real, collectible
19. High-Temperature stream of Fire, 2d6 damage, flammables ignite
20. Three Random Rolls, in succession... try real hard to roll three 20s in a row!

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 Penultimate Wand o' Wonder Effects Generator (d6)

 1.  Greater Rod of Wonder Effect Generator

 2.  DMG-A1_Wand of Wonder.pdf 

 3.  The RPGNet Wand of Wonder! [Archive] - RPGnet Forums

 4.  100 uses for the Dangerous Derv Wand of Wonder

 5.  Alacrity's Wand of Wonder - presented by the Red Dragon Inn

 6.  Tenkar's Tavern: The Tenkar's Tavern Wand of Wonder - First 63 Possible Results  

(d20) Things Adventures/Players/DMs Say

Adventurers/Players

1. Got any Healing Spells left?

2. No one took Identify?

3. It's a Trap!

4. Who's opening the door?

5. I'm not going in there

6. I'm searching for Secret Doors

7. I attempt to disbelieve*

8. Dammit, dammit, dammit!

9. Can't anyone Detect Magic?

10. Try touching it

11. No way!  YOU do it!

12. Is the _______ Spell still in effect?

13. 'Twelve'... no, wait, 'Thirteen'!

14. We can't trust him

15. But... it's written on my Character Sheet!

16. Wait, where are we?

17. Can't I just DO that?

18. Someone read that Clue/Riddle/Note again

19. Hold on a sec, let me look it up... 

20. We already tried that

DMs

1. You can't possibly be carrying all that

2. You tell me... did anyone write it down?

3. (looks around gaming table)  ...Everybody Roll Initiative!

4. Are you SURE you want to do that?

5. When suddenly...

6. Well... it certainly LOOKS like _______

7. Let me see your Character Sheet for a sec...

8. It's not doing anything; it's just sitting there

9. It appears to be empty

10. No, really guys, it's empty, just move on

11.You do realize that's going to: make a lot of noise/take forever/really piss them off

12. _______ isn't flammable; you can't just dump a flask of oil on it and make it disappear

13.  Because: that's just impossible/it will ruin the story/I said so!

14. OK... describe to me exactly how you're attempting to do this

15.*sigh* ...EVERYBODY make a Saving Throw vs _______

16. Are you joking, or does your Character actually say that?

17. They're not there anymore, just some bits of chewed-up saddles and bloodstains

18. Are you keeping track of ______?

19. Hold on a sec, let me look it up... 

20. You already tried that

*don't know how this one ever got started; if there's a Save vs Illusion, I've already rolled it.  I keep telling them that, but no one listens