Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Gonzo Fighter-Type Names, MST3K Style


Copied/Pasted this list of Uber-Macho Fighter names, suitable(?) for NPCs, Henchmen, even your next PC, and made a Random Table of it.  View the MST3K clip here.
(d50)
  1. Slab Bulkhead *       
  2. Fridge Largemeat * 
  3. Punt Speedchunk * 
  4. Butch Deadlift * 
  5. Bold Bigflank * 
  6. Splint Chesthair * 
  7. Flint Ironstag * 
  8. Bolt Vanderhuge * 
  9. Thick McRunfast * 
  10. Blast Hardcheese * 
  11. Buff Drinklots * 
  12. Crunch Slamchest * 
  13. Fist Rockbone * 
  14. Stump Beefknob *
  15. Smash Lampjaw * 
  16. Punch Rockgroin * 
  17. Buck Plankchest *
  18. Stump Junkman * 
  19. Dirk Hardpec * 
  20. Rip Steakface * 
  21. Slate Slabrock * 
  22. Crud Bonemeal * 
  23. Brick Hardmeat * 
  24. Rip Slagcheek * 
  25. Punch Sideiron * 
  26. Gristle McThornbody *
  27. Slate Fistcrunch * 
  28. Buff Hardback * 
  29. Bob Johnson (oh, wait…) * 
  30. Blast Thickneck * 
  31. Crunch Buttsteak * 
  32. Slab Squatthrust * 
  33. Lump Beefbroth * 
  34. Touch Rustrod * 
  35. Beef Blastbody * 
  36. Big McLargehuge * 
  37. Smoke Manmuscle * 
  38. Beat Punchmeat * 
  39. Hack Blowfist * 
  40. Roll Fizzlebeef *
  41. Ragnar Rokbottom 
  42. Leif Longbottom
  43. Leif Garrotte
  44. Danger D. Danger
  45. Tank Blackmoor
  46. Stiff Polearm
  47. Flabby Thunderbuns
  48. Thorvald McMaynerberry
  49. Bjorn Redeye
  50. Goliath Oakennutts
For easier Random Rolling, I rounded out the list to an even 50 entries,  adding #s 41-49 in an apparently Viking-influenced fit of giggling free association.  Entry #50 was the name of a favorite Character of mine, one of the last of the Clan of Chainsmoking Dwarves, sadly departed, and undoubtedly hollering his signature catchphrase, "Heapin' Gobs of it, Laddie!" on the entrail-strewn battlefields of Valhalla.  We hardly knew ye, Goliath.

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